It’s a tough job organising an Indian wedding, we totally get it! One of the hardest things about wedding planning is to coordinate your guest list. Most venues aren’t equipped to deal with more than 300-400 people indoors, and even if they are, do you really need 600 people plus at your wedding? When will you ever get the time to speak to them all and if you do, when will you get the time to do anything else?
Everyone will have had a close friend or family member tie the knot at some point and will understand if they’ve not quite made guest list cut (ok, some people won’t but your time is better spent worrying about other actual necessities). Family guest list discussions can sometimes get a little heated so if you’re trying to persuade your other half or your parents to reduce their numbers, here’s a good base to start from.
1. The one year rule
If you have any friends or family members who you have had NO communication with over the last year then chances are you probably don’t need them at your wedding. By communication, we’re talking social media, phone, email and even WhatsApp. There may be one or two overseas cousins who might be an exception, but on the whole you get our drift..
2. The numbers game
If you’re close to someone then you’ll probably have their number saved on your phone. Most of us will probably have far more numbers in our contacts list (which we don’t even need), so think of it this way, if you don’t have their number, you’re not really friends and therefore they don’t need to be sent an invite.
3. Face to face
We might be stating the obvious here, but if you’ve never actually met some of your potential guests, why would you call them to your wedding? Yes, he or she may be your mum’s sister’s daughter’s cousin but what has that got to do with you? If a relative is that distant to have never even shown you their face then there’s no reason you need to suddenly see them while you’re sitting in the mandap.
Your friends are one thing but do you really need to have your parents’ or siblings’ friends there too? It’s fine if you’ve got enough room but if not, just explain this to them and we’re sure they’ll understand. After all, if you haven’t got enough room for your own friends at your wedding, then why should anyone else’s be there?
6. Multiple functions
We understand that due to the nature of Indian families it can sometimes be difficult to simply say no to certain guests, and one way to avoid family tension is to have separate functions for your ‘extra’ guests. Look to organise a larger sangeet or mehendi night where you can invite extra people who then don’t need to be called to the wedding.
7. Mr & Mrs
A great way to get rid of any extra guests is to keep your invite as couples-only. Sure there may be certain close family members who need to be there, along with one or two who have young children they aren’t able to leave behind, but on the whole keep it as Mr & Mrs and you’ll be fine.
Even though you may want them present, it may not be practical to invite your co-workers due to numbers getting out of hand. If you have one bestie at work that’s fine, but what if you’re equally as close to 20 people? If your list is getting too long then perhaps have a separate wedding celebration lunch or meal with them instead.
9. Plus ones
If there are any singletons attending, though it is normal wedding etiquette to let them bring along a plus one, don’t feel pressurised to do this. It’s absolutely fine to invite people on their own, as long as they’re going to know someone else at the wedding who they can mingle with. If for example they’re a complete outsider, then consider letting them bring someone along, but otherwise – its okay.