#DearGroom: How To Pick Your Best Man


planning a wedding
Photo Credit: Darling Juliet Photography

For some grooms picking the best man is an easy task, while for others it can be quite daunting, especially if there are quite a few men to choose from. Do you go with your best friend, brother, father, uncle or brother-in-law? Well truth be told there’s no clear answer, however there are a few things you might like to consider before making your decision and this quick Q&A might help.

Who should I pick to be my best man?
Ideally your best man should be someone who’s been a part of your life for a long time. Someone who knows your personality inside out, can keep you calm throughout your celebrations and can ideally share a few stories about you for the best man’s speech. If you have more than one person to choose from then perhaps think about splitting the duties. You can have one best man for your Indian wedding and another for your civil.

What are the best man’s duties?
Traditionally the best man will be in charge of organising the stag and bringing the bachelor party together, so you probably want to go with someone who isn’t overwhelmed with work commitments and can probably reply to a message or two without getting flustered. Your best man will also be making a speech, perhaps welcoming the guests and even taking charge of smaller details like your transport and accommodation. So go with someone you can trust to do this well.

Does the best man need to get on with my wife?
YES! You should ideally go for someone who your wife also trusts and feels at ease with. This will ensure no feathers are ruffled during the planning stages or on the day. If the bride feels on edge and is constantly worrying about something going wrong during the celebrations, then let’s face it, neither of you are going to have a good time.

Is the speech a big deal?
Truth be told, the best man’s speech is one part of the evening that guests look most forward to, so in theory it is quite a big deal. If you know someone is going to feel stressed and panicked at the thought of giving a speech, then perhaps go with someone else. Think about the type of speech you want at your wedding; does it need to be funny, emotional or dramatic? This will help determine the person you go for.

What if I want more than one best man?
If you have a particularly large family or friends’ circle then it can sometimes be difficult to pick just one best man, in which case you can go with the option of having a set of ‘best men’. If this is the case then you can simply split the responsibilities amongst them throughout the day and let them take turns to be by your side during the Indian ceremony. If you go with this option though, you might want to be careful about some of the truths that might be revealed during that speech!

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